In this brave new world of twenty first century Britain, our old beliefs of the class system need to be redefined.

As far as I can make out there are three classes in Britain. At the top of the heap is the working class, and by that I mean those who are working in full time employment and keeping themselves and their families.

Then comes the non working class, those who either by choice or  circumstances do not work, and that of course  could mean retired people or those who do not want to work.

Last, but in our brave new world by no means least ,are the Capitalists, those who make their money work for them.

Of course there are those who still believe in the old class system, working class, middle class and aristocrats. If you believe in this system, her are a few pointers which might help you decide which class you are in.

• You always blow dry your own hair
• you never eat tinned soup.
• Never shows the label on designer clothes, (Particularly if it is by Victoria Beckham)
• Always take your bra off using two hands,(Preferably someone else’s).
• never shops at Tesco
• Call domestic help Staff, even if it is only a cleaner once a week.
• Never wear matching underwear
• never have dinner parties, just supper in the kitchen
• never bring up your own children
• Do not believe in clean houses
• never trust your husband,(or anyone else’s)
• Always have the ugliest dog available
• Usually chooses men who are wimps.
• Can arrange flowers but cannot cook spaghetti, in fact cannot cook.,(Which indicates that half the population of the country are in this class),

Or the next class.

• Goes to the Hairdresser once a week.
• Has an amazing kitchen but only uses the microwave.
• Calls the children Mercedes or Kai.
• Goes without food to buy a designer handbag.
• Always wears matching underwear.
• Buys wine from Tesco.
• Only reads O.K. Or Hello
• Thinks Radio 4 is the name of a Pop group
• Takes her children everywhere.
• Has girlie weekends away.
• Dresses her children in matching outfits.
• Does not trust her husband(or anyone else’s)
• Has a Pedigree dog which tones with the colour of the house interior.

• Shops at the local chippy or Kentucky fried chicken
• Washes her own hair. The hairdryer is lost, so cannot be blow dried.
• Thinks the Daily Mail is for intellectuals.
• Buys her clothes from the Oxfam shop.
• Buys Blossom Hill wine for special occasions
• Thinks politics are stupid.
• Calls the children some awful names. Especially first thing in the morning.
• Has a very ugly dog.
• Watches a lot of daytime TV.
• Does not believe in doing much housework.
• Only has a take away four times a week
• Does not believe in wholemeal bread, has never tasted it.
• Does not trust husbands, she hasn’t got one.

Or perhaps you could think of a better list?